


The Legendary ERB

by thatfamoushappyending (betsytheoven)



Series: Check, Please! Tumblr Ficlets [7]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-27
Updated: 2015-06-27
Packaged: 2018-04-06 10:46:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4218795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/betsytheoven/pseuds/thatfamoushappyending
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Shitty overhears Bitty introducing his own concert in the shower.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Legendary ERB

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this prompt: 
> 
> Headcanon: At least once, someone in the Haus has heard Bitty introducing his own “concert” in the shower

“And now, ladies and gentlemen put your hands together for Beyonce’s opening act: The  _Legendary_  ERB!”  
  
Shitty froze at the second to last stair, until Bitty started belting out his first song.   
  
With incredibly wide eyes, he stepped over the top stair, the squeakiest stair of them all, before walking in a daze to Jack’s room. His brain couldn’t process the level of hilarious but also precious that Bitty’s shower concert was.   
  
“JACK.”   
  
The teams not-so-fearless and still incredibly competent and wonderful captain was sitting on his bed reading what was sure to be another history textbook (”It’s on the history of photography and it’s impacts on WWII” “Textbook.” “Shitty, no.”).  
  
“What’s up Shits? You look like you’ve seen a ghost…Go tell Ransom. Please.”   
  
Shitty shook his head, “Nah brah. I just heard… have you ever heard Bitty… introduce himself?”  
  
Jack put his book down and gave Shitty the look most people shot him when he said he wanted to be a lawyer.   
  
“Um. I mean it usually involves a pie.” 

  
“No, I mean  _in the shower._ ”  
  
And, oh. Jack’s shoulders crept a bit closer to his neck, and his mouth did this wonderfully shy twitching thing and there was a shadow of pink creeping over his ears and down his neck.  
  
“Wha–I don’t– What are you talking about?”  
  
“Jack you beautiful bastard, you know what I’m talking about and you think it’s fucking adorable, don’t you?”   
  
Jack’s eyes bulged a bit and suddenly he looked so vulnerable and concerned and aw fuck, Shitty had made him feel bad about thinking purely happy thoughts about Bitty. The last thing he wanted was for Jack to close himself off to being head over skates for Bitty.   
  
He practically glided over to Jack’s bed, and sat cross-legged across from him.   
  
“Is Bitty your favorite performer, Mr. Zimmermann?”

Jack pulled a hockey stick out of nowhere (”It was leaning on my bed…?”) and whacked his best friend with it. They wrestled for a bit before Jack just shoved Shitty onto the floor with a triumphant grin.   
  
“Ok, but do you think we are the only ones who know? Ransom and Holster  _must_ know, they share a bathroom with the guy!”  
  
“If they knew, do you honestly think anyone on this campus would not be aware of their newfound knowledge?” Jack raised an eyebrow and Shitty laughed.  
  
“True, bro. It would be all over their YouTube, and last time I checked, it was still just videos of your glorious ass.”  
  
Jack spluttered for a second, before making Shitty locate the YouTube channel. Apparently the d-men pair sent out emails at the beginning of each year reminding the team about their “most swawesome videos,” but Jack had never been able to make the link work.   
  
After a minute or two of scrolling through the different videos that they had posted, Jack looked like he was fighting off a migraine.   
  
“Is this where all of their strange powerpoint presentations end up? I feel like I finally understand why they are always coming to me, of all people, for help with girls."   
  
Shitty was cackling when Bitty poked his head in the door, one towel wrapped around his waist and another wrapped around his hair.   
  
“Is everything ok in here? It sounded like a whale was dying in here.”   
  
Jack looked pointedly at Shitty, before he turned back to Bittle.   
  
“Ransom and Holster will make a video of your shower concert if you aren’t careful.”  
  
Bitty gasped and was about to blush, but aborted it in favor of narrowing his eyes at the captain. “Is that a threat?”   
  
Jack shrugged and picked up his book upside down, and pretended to read. “Not at all, I just want a quiche for dinner.”   
  
Jack got a quiche for dinner, and Ransom and Holster never found out about the shower concerts (though the frogs did. But by that point Bitty was the captain and Chowder dared them to try to blackmail his best friend).


End file.
